One of my most recent posts dealt with a subject that I am currently dealing with and with help from my friends I am gaining a much better insight into the situation. As a mantra that I like repeating to myself as often as possible: it is NOT an Event but a PROCESS. Effectively communicating what it means to be physically challenged is something that will take time and will likely involve mistakes along the way but that is a price that must be paid in order to improve and continuously move forward.
In this post, I would like to dwell on how I deal with the subject of “Irrelevant but Important”: I don’t completely dismiss the fact that I am physically handicap and/or any of the resultant side effects that exists because of that reality. It is a complicated situation that at the moment requires a conscious decision which will eventually strike a balance between reaching for the best that my potential can support and provide, while not reaching for goals that are beyond my capacity to initiated and maintain as a physically challenged person. Perhaps one of the most important perspective I have of my physical challenges is that it is yet another fact to be considered and as such resources can be brought to bare to palliate some of the adverse effects that may result from it.
In using the available resources to improve my quality of life, it must be abundantly clear that the resources in question will result in a net positive effect on my life and those I care about; the basic point is that the resources are not used automatically to reduce any adverse effects that I come across. It is sometimes necessary to consider the long term view of an obstacle in my path; this means that I would much rather suffer any adverse in the short-to-medium term while increasing the possibility that the long term will be significantly better.
While it is important that I take into account the reality of my physical challenges, it is not understood (to me) as an automatic obstacle to any end that I have in mind. However, it is dealt with as any problem that has a particular structure and hence can be decomposed into constituent parts and solutions developed to address the smaller parts and hence solving the bigger picture. In viewing my physical challenges as a problem that needs a solution as opposed to anything that inherently defines my capabilities, I have assumed responsibility over anything that affects me as a physically challenged person.
I believe in personal responsibility and over the years it has seemed pointless to seek to assign blame to anybody for my physical challenges but instead take responsibility for it. As a matter of principle, ONLY I hold the right to make any decision that will negatively impact me as a physically challenged person: this decision cannot be shared, neither can it be delegated at any point in time. The probability that this assertion is false is abysmally miniscule (only to allow for human error).
I recently had a memorable experience with a friend of mine; we were arranging to get together and as with such things (at least in my experience), there is need to agree on a suitable date, time and of course the venue. I decided to propose the date and time and leave the venue for my friend to decide. She decided to take sometime in thinking of the venue of our get together (yeah, I like organizing for things before hand). To cut to the chase, she picked out a place and sent me a text message and the message is what actually impressed me: she pointed out that there would be stair cases and hence it was up to me to agree to meet at this venue or not. That small narrative demonstrate that she suggested a nice place to meet and let me know of any potential difficulty that I might have at the venue which is considerate of her. Having the information about stair cases allowed me to prepare mentally to deal with a stair case but at the same time also prepare for any eventuality in which the staircase proves to be unmanageable; plan A was developed, a plan B and C were worked out and all resources necessary to realize all three plans are comfortably accounted for.